Sidewalk Cafe

I took my pictures from the walls
Packed my possessions in a box
Typed my password in just one last time then shut down
Trawled the flea markets for weeks
Packed tables, chairs and random soft furnishings
In a rented van for the coast
To try my hand at something else
Found a place just off a high street fairly cheap
Met the agency in town and signed a three-year lease
What this town really needs
Is a new sidewalk cafe
I’m pitching at the laidback, friendly crowds
Mothers with pushchairs and some intellectuals
People will travel to this artistic space
I’ll get some well-mannered students in to help out on a Saturday
I’ll give them double-pay
They’ll love this sidewalk cafe
We opened on a Monday, some big launch
Placed adverts in the local papers, it’s two for one
Under new management
A brand new sidewalk cafe
I’d shelled out for the high-spec coffee machine
I’ve advertised across the county
Four hours later and I’m falling apart, we’re losing
All of our punters to the chain bar sitting two doors down
I can’t find anyone
To fill this sidewalk cafe
I’ve tried changing menus, and I’m feeling the strain
I’m sorry, if you want to stay here sir you’ll going to have to buy something
This ain’t a charity
It’s just a sidewalk cafe
Tried putting on a folk night, but bands won’t play
Tried a literary recital but literally no-one came
Just myself and the poet in this sidewalk cafe
I need a plumber for the blocked up sink,
I need a good engineer to come and fix this coffee machine
I can’t face staring at these empty seats
I can’t face the thought of any more tearful student redundancies
I know it’s time to leave this stupid sidewalk cafe
I took the pictures from the walls
Packed my possessions in a box
Made a lattee one last time and then I locked up
Gave the furnshings away
Sold the cups and plates
And I fly-tipped the tables by the motorway
On the way back to exactly where I started from